Desire

Dopamine plays a crucial role in the brain’s reward system, driving behaviors that lead to pleasure or gratification. When we perceive a stimulus that might fulfill a need or desire, dopamine levels increase, creating a sense of anticipation and motivation. This explains why simply formulating desires and imagining them repeatedly can have a significant impact on our psyche.

From an evolutionary perspective, desire has been fundamental to survival and reproduction. Craving food, water, shelter, and companionship helped humans meet basic needs and ensure the continuation of the species. Over time, these desires evolved, becoming more complex and encompassing social, cultural, and personal aspirations.

The anatomy of desire consists of three main components: motivation, intention, and action. Motivation is the initial drive, intention is the goal we aim to achieve, and action is the behavior we take to fulfill the desire. It becomes clear that “realistic” and genuine desires are those where we can identify and enact these three foundations.

On the other hand, more fantastical desires can be emotionally damaging, as they often fail at the third foundation—action—leading to frustration when the individual cannot act on their intent.

Managing desire is essential for overall well-being. This can be achieved through self-awareness and emotional regulation.

How?

By engaging in critical reflection: distinguishing between authentic and externally influenced desires, and between harmless and harmful ones (like addiction or self-destructive behaviors). This process allows for a more balanced and fulfilling life.

How Are Desires Planted?

1. Targeting motivation: Highlighting a gap or void in someone’s life (such as well-being, security, or success), creating an emotional connection, and sparking curiosity by showing what’s missing.

2. Defining intention: Encouraging the visualization of the outcome, allowing the person to imagine the benefits of achieving the desire. This often includes emphasizing the social acceptance tied to it, by creating a perception that many others share the same desire, leading to a real chain reaction.

3. Encouraging action: Offering immediate incentives (e.g., discounts, free trials) while minimizing barriers like cost, complexity, or time.

The issue with induced desires is that they don’t align with your true values or needs. As a result, they create an illusory and fleeting cycle of expectation and reward. Where you anticipated joy, you find emptiness. Where you expected well-being, you encounter crisis.

The economic system separates us from barbarism by allowing us to fulfill needs and desires in an organized, civil manner. However, the balance that keeps most people playing along is delicate. Rising inequality and social injustice, driven by the concentration of wealth and power in the hands of a few, creates frustration and tensions that threaten civil harmony.

Perhaps it’s not simply a matter of well-being but of desires. Our desires grow endlessly, fueled by capitalism—and with them, our increasing “need” for money.

Marketing is the art of planting desires in people’s minds, transforming consumer psychology into a form of ongoing "education." This education doesn't just suggest what is desirable; it actively shapes the very concept of success, happiness, and freedom.

Young people, in particular, are prime targets for this manipulation. Their still-developing minds are malleable, and they have many years ahead, making the investment in their conditioning especially profitable—an influence that can last for decades.

From a sociological standpoint, this dynamic creates a cycle of induced aspirations that never ends. Young people are persuaded that achieving certain status symbols is not only desirable but essential for their personal fulfillment. Luxury, success, and satisfaction become externally imposed definitions, goals to pursue relentlessly, often at the expense of true self-realization.

This process has profound implications. Artificially created desires become an integral part of individuals' identity structure, leading to a chronic sense of dissatisfaction. Happiness is continuously projected into the future, tied to the acquisition of a new object or a new consumer experience—never present in the current moment. If this illusion goes unrecognized, people may spend their entire lives chasing an idea of happiness built on unstable and artificial foundations.

In the most tragic cases, individuals may spend their entire lives working, sacrificing time, energy, and creative potential to achieve goals that were never truly their own, but imposed by an external system that convinced them of their necessity.

The global marketing system traps individuals in an endless cycle of unfulfilled desires, turning them into slaves of a dream that, by its very nature, is never meant to be realized.

It is no longer demand meeting supply but rather supply forcing the creation of demand.

Over time, desire has met envy, creating a potentially destructive outcome for humanity: greed.

It triggers a countdown for our mental health (if unmet). We crave and envy the privileges of others, and this could lead us to take actions inconsistent with who we once were.

When did we start measuring our happiness through privileges? It’s a dangerous practice to assess our happiness based on the presence or absence of privileges. This superficial calibration of emotional and sentimental states in relation to privileges can lead to deep dissatisfaction and a failure to understand oneself, culminating in a sense of inner emptiness.

To truly understand our desires, we must dig down to their core, exploring the underlying motivations. For example:

• I want an expensive car. Why? Not just for admiration, but because I believe it’s the only way to be respected and noticed. But why do I need this level of respect? Because without it, I feel invisible and powerless. This obsession with external validation leads to constant dissatisfaction, as no car or material object can truly fill the void of inner insecurity. The need for more and more expensive items becomes a cycle, trapping the individual in a relentless pursuit of superficial worth.

• I want to be famous. Why? Not just for the attention, but because I believe that without the adoration of the masses, I am insignificant. Why do I crave this adoration? Because I equate fame with worthiness. This desperate need for recognition often leads to self-destructive behavior, where the person seeks attention at any cost, even if it damages their health, relationships, or mental well-being. The obsession with fame blinds them to the genuine connections they lack, replacing true affection with fleeting moments of public approval.

• I want to always appear extremely well-dressed in designer clothes and fashionable accessories. Why? Not just to look good, but because I believe that without projecting an image of luxury and style, I will be seen as inferior or unworthy of attention. Why do I need this external image? Because I equate my self-worth with how others perceive my appearance. This obsession with always looking flawless and wearing the latest fashion leads to a constant pursuit of expensive, branded items. It creates a cycle of anxiety and superficial validation, where true self-confidence is replaced by the fleeting approval of those who value outward appearances. Over time, the obsession with appearances prevents genuine self-expression and reinforces a fragile identity based solely on materialism.

• I want to travel constantly. Why? Not just for the adventure, but because I believe that only constant novelty and escapism can keep me from confronting my inner turmoil. Why do I need to escape? Because my life feels meaningless without the stimulation of new experiences. This relentless need for adventure can become a form of avoidance, where the individual never finds contentment in the present. The cycle of seeking extreme thrills and new locations serves only to mask a deeper sense of purposelessness and internal void.

• I want a big luxury house. Why? Not just to symbolize success, but because I believe that without a grand display of wealth, I have no value. Why do I seek this validation? Because I measure my worth by how much more I have than others. This obsession leads to a life focused solely on material acquisition, where the house becomes a prison of unfulfilled desires. Despite the luxury, there is an overwhelming emptiness, as the need for more space, more things, and more status leaves no room for emotional fulfillment.

• I want to be obsessively the best in my field. Why? Not for the love of the work, but because I believe that only by being the absolute best can I prove my worth. Why do I need to be the best? Because anything less feels like failure. This obsession with perfection often leads to burnout, anxiety, and an inability to appreciate personal achievements. The constant pursuit of recognition and superiority leaves the individual feeling empty, as the need for validation from others overtakes any sense of intrinsic satisfaction.

• I want to be in extremely perfect shape. Why? Not for health, but because I believe that physical perfection is the only way to be loved and accepted. Why do I need to be loved in this way? Because I fear that without the ideal body, I will be rejected and unworthy. This obsession with physical appearance often leads to unhealthy behaviors, such as extreme dieting, compulsive exercise, or even body dysmorphia. The person’s self-worth becomes entirely dependent on their appearance, creating a fragile and unsustainable identity.

• I want continually to accumulate wealth. Why? Not just for financial security, but because I believe that without constantly increasing my wealth, I am vulnerable and powerless. Why do I feel this vulnerability? Because I fear that without control over financial resources, I will lose control over my life. This obsession with wealth can lead to greed, isolation, and unethical behavior, as the person sacrifices relationships, morality, and even personal well-being in the endless pursuit of more money. The desire becomes a never-ending race where no amount is ever enough.

• I want to be constantly productive. Why? Not just for achievement, but because I equate my personal value with how much I can accomplish. Why do I need to achieve so much? Because I fear that if I slow down, I’ll be seen as lazy or unimportant. This relentless drive for productivity can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and a detachment from life’s joys. The obsession with doing more replaces the ability to simply be, trapping the individual in a cycle where rest feels like failure, and there’s no room for reflection or genuine contentment.

• I want to be always in a relationship. Why? Not just for companionship, but because I believe that without a partner, I am incomplete and unworthy of love. Why do I feel incomplete? Because I fear loneliness and the societal judgment of being alone. This desire for a relationship can become a desperate need to be with someone, even if it means staying in unhealthy or toxic relationships. The person may ignore red flags and compromise their values just to avoid the fear of being alone, resulting in emotional pain and a lack of personal growth.

• I want to be constantly entertained. Why? Not just for fun, but because I believe that without constant stimulation, life is unbearable. Why do I need this stimulation? Because I cannot tolerate silence or stillness, as it forces me to confront uncomfortable emotions or existential questions. This obsession with entertainment—whether through screens, social media, or distractions—can lead to a deep disconnect from reality and a constant craving for more intense forms of stimulation. The individual becomes a passive consumer of life, avoiding meaningful engagement with themselves or the world around them.

• I want to be emotionally invulnerable. Why? Not just to protect myself from harm, but because I fear being seen as weak or too sensitive. This need for emotional invulnerability can result in shutting down emotionally, becoming distant, or avoiding intimacy in relationships. The obsession with emotional toughness can prevent personal growth and healthy connections, leading to loneliness and an inability to express or process emotions constructively.

• I want to control every aspect of my life. Why? Not just for stability, but because I fear that if I let go of control, everything will fall apart. Why do I feel this fear? Because uncertainty and vulnerability terrify me, and I associate control with safety. This obsessive need for control can lead to rigidity, anxiety, and strained relationships, as the person struggles to accept life’s unpredictability. They may micromanage, overplan, and resist change, ultimately creating a life devoid of spontaneity and genuine human connection.

• I want to constantly acquire new knowledge. Why? Not just for self-improvement, but because I fear being seen as ignorant or unworthy. This relentless need to know everything can lead to information overload and an inability to apply what’s learned meaningfully. The obsession with intellectual superiority becomes a barrier to genuine growth, as learning turns into a compulsion rather than a tool for personal enrichment.

It's normal to have lighter, more balanced versions of these desires—wanting success, recognition, or comfort is part of the human experience. However, when these desires become extreme or obsessive, they often stem from flawed thought patterns, where self-worth and happiness are falsely tied to external achievements or approval.

To avoid falling into existential oblivion, we must first uncover the real motivations behind our desires. Otherwise, we risk chasing a dream that, like a soap bubble, looks bright and perfect but bursts the moment we touch it.

The truth is that all these forces—both constructive and destructive—serve a purpose for humans, but in survival, not in coexistence.

Pay attention to what you desire, but even more so to how and why you desire it. Every time you long for something, your brain, through its reward system, sets up an expectation of fulfillment. If you are unable to constantly meet these expectations (made by yourself), it creates a lingering sense of dissatisfaction. This feeling of unfulfillment doesn’t just disappear; it festers and grows, gnawing at your well-being, draining you emotionally and mentally. Over time, this cycle can consume you entirely, like a slow bleed that saps your energy, focus, and joy.

Desires, when left unchecked, can become insatiable. The problem is not the act of desiring itself—desire is natural—but the relentless expectation that every want must be satisfied. When we become fixated on fulfilling these desires, we set ourselves up for disappointment, because life often doesn’t provide instant gratification. The brain's reward system constantly seeks the next fix, pushing you into a loop of craving and frustration.

This dynamic can lead to a perpetual state of longing, where satisfaction is always just out of reach. Instead of appreciating what you have, you are consumed by what you lack. The more you feed this cycle, the deeper the dissatisfaction becomes, eventually eroding your peace of mind and happiness. It’s crucial to understand that not every desire needs to be fulfilled, and chasing after every impulse can leave you depleted, both physically and emotionally.

At first glance, it seems like a recipe for unhappiness (and Freud surely wouldn't like this idea), but the wise know how much the long term is better than the short term.